Ending the stock market battle over Gamestop in song

Bank review, current USBR score and consumer report

This is the web version of Data Sheet, a daily newsletter on the business of tech. Sign up to get it delivered free to your inbox. 

(With apologies to Jonathan Larson, a version of his Rent classic “Seasons of Love” in honor of Melvin Capital throwing in the towel on its short bets against Gamestop. You can listen to the original here.)

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
Five hundred twenty five thousand investors who pop
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short? Short the Gamestop?

In options
In trading
In Robinhoods
In limit orders
In squeezes, in charting, in trade halts, in rocks

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short a Gamestop in stocks?

How about funds?
How about funds?
How about funds?
Shorting by funds
Seasons of funds
Seasons of funds

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
Five hundred twenty five thousand small stocks to try
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short a share of Tesla or Best Buy

In stocks that they churned
Or in times Melvin cried
In commissions they earned
Or the way that fund died

Its time now to cover all our bets
The trade always ends
Let’s celebrate remember a squeeze in a stock
Of friends

Remember the funds
(Oh you gotta remember the funds)
Remember the funds
(Oh yeah its a squeeze they upends)
Remember the funds
(Trade out, cover it, shorting by funds, hedge fuuuunds)
Seasons of funds
Seasons of funds…

Aaron Pressman
@ampressman
aaron.pressman@fortune.com

11 Things You Should Know Before You Get Your First Credit Card

A credit card may seem like just another tool to help you make purchases, but it can be much more. When used responsibly, a credit card can help you build

What Is a Balance Transfer, and Should I Consider Doing One?

In a perfect world, no one would carry a balance on their credit card. We would all pay our bills in full each month and never have to worry about

How Is Credit Card Interest Calculated?

So your bank tells you that your credit card has a 15% APR. What does that actually mean? How does your bank calculate your interest rate, and how does that translate into how much you actually pay? …

What Is a Balance Transfer, and Should I Consider Doing One?

In a perfect world, no one would carry a balance on their credit card. We would all pay our bills in full each month and never have to worry about

Subscribe to our e-mail list and stay up-to-date with all our news.

The US Bank Review is an independent authority and bank watchdog group monitoring financial institutions operating the in United States. We have no affiliation with any banks featured, reviewed or profiled. All rights reserved. Terms of use and Privacy Policy